Your personal life experiences are no different to any other world processes. To know what is going on you need a lot of meaningful data. Preferably derived from numerous replicable experiments.

HOW-YOU-FEEL and WHAT-SEEMS are OK when you’re interested in the subjective and intangible. There is no place for that if you’re interested in the objective, real world results. You just have to stick with the process and acquire some meaningful data to base your conclusions, base your practises on.

Based on this a lot of “decisions” you’ve made in life are rendered unsound. Which means stupid. Which explains your outcomes.

Learn the flaws in your reasoning before you learn some new “success hack” or tactic. If you can’t think you can’t make good decisions you can’t get optimal outcomes.