Respect is a deal you make

Deal entailing what you give and represent

And Deal entailing what you expect from someone (to give and represent)

 

Self-respect is also a deal — the deal you make with yourself

 

You don’t show respect if you don’t have a deal with someone. You have no expectations from them, you don’t ask for anything, you don’t wait for anything, you don’t expect nothing.

You don’t disrespect them, mind you. You simply don’t show respect.

 

Who do you disrespect? You disrespect those whose values are incongruent with yours. Your attitude of disrespect* is basically the fact of you refusing to deal with them.

(*the elementary respect we are due to fellow humans is that of ASSUMING they are worthy of respect. That assumption is usually quickly clarified – and then we make informed decision who do we work with)

 

Those are the fundamentals of respect, lack of respect, and disrespect.

However we live in an imperfect world of incomplete information and flawed judgment.

You will demand respect from some — which means you will attempt to deal with them, make a deal with them, make a relationship with them, work with them — and you will not receive that respect, and you will fail to make a deal, you will fail to deal.

You will not receive that respect, and you will fail to make a deal, for following reasons:

-because your values / your deal has been rejected

-because your values / your deal has been misunderstood

-this itself can be caused by your subpar communication

-or the other side is incapable of understanding, due to various inexplicable reasons

-because you yourself don’t understand your own proposition (deal, or respect you ask for) (and if you fail to clarify what it is that you ask for — you can’t communicate it — thus obviously can’t receive it (unless by chance))

 

It’s ok to be rejected. It’s even ok to be disrespected. It means you were eager to communicate your values — which could then be subjected to judgment and rejection.

It also means you asked for it.

 

It’s ok to show disrespect. Don’t seek to show disrespect — that’s pointless. Let the fact of you not respecting someone or something be revealed in your natural, sincere way of being and conveying yourself.

 

Don’t seek respect — seek to make good deals.

Seek to make good deals. Good relationships. Good deals for yourself and the other side.

There’s nothing admirable in winning respect you don’t need. You only want respect in deals and relationships which serve you.

Winning useless respect is like buying useless toys. You think you have power and you think you made something in this world — but really you put other’s opinion of you over your own wants. Your the king of sheep, supremely respectable stupid kind of sheep.

Make great deals instead. Know WHAT you want, go after it, and communicate clearly. KEEP YOUR WORD. Keep your word — so that other’s can know they can work with you — and so that you know you can work with you.

 

Some people will join you on your journey, because they are going in a similar directions. You will respect each other because you share values, share goals, and share responsibilities — as you help each other along the way.

The rest is free to exit your life — and it’s a good thing. The rest is free to disrespect you — and it’s a good thing. You know where you’re going

This is the true meaning of respect. It’s the DEAL you make with others. Make great deals for yourself and others.