You will compare yourself
How could you not?
How else would you know how to solve your problems?
You try to solve your problems — and not until you solved them — obviously you turn to those who did.
You will compare yourself — like you’d compare two strategies, two solutions, two ideas. You will compare — so as to come up with a better strategy, better solution, better idea.
The real problem is not that you compare
The real problem is that you confuse actions and strategies with the living and breathing human behind them.
You take it personally.
Whatever it is that you start comparing — you end up taking it personally.
You believe it determines your worth somehow.
You believe it determines someone’s worth.
And how would you not?
You’re struggling with this problem, you’re failing — when someone else has succeeded.
(your career-problems and money-problems and happiness-problems and relationships-problems and popularity-problems and doing-what-you-want-problems and fomo-problems and moral-problems and all the rest of it)
You’re obviously very determined to solve it, you believe it’s important that you succeed — and you’re failing.
Clearly someone who solves his problems is some admirable human
And you’re right
What else is there to do but to live, solve problems, experience life, and die?
The only catch is that the one who apparently has your problem solved is NOT YOU
You don’t truly know how he solved that problem
Obviously you can learn from him — and should
But HE IS NOT YOU
You don’t truly know how he solved that problem
Is it what he did?
Is it his intrinsic qualities which caused it?
Is it his luck?
Is it the help he got?
Is it hard work?
Is it smart work?
Is it change of mindset?
WHAT IS IT?
HE IS NOT YOU
HE CAN NEVER BE YOU
BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU
Therefore you really can’t compare two human beings
ONLY their actions
And even that must be taken with a grain of salt
And perhaps you see it at some point, and decide:
“I will NOT compare myself”
“I shall only compare myself to myself from the past!”
Which is a great idea indeed – because you can only improve yourself. You can’t be anyone else, it’s nonsense. You can only be you, and you can only change you.
Alas!
Alas you WILL compare yourself
One moment you decide “I don’t compare myself to others”, and “my value is determined by WHAT I DO EVERY DAY”, or maybe even “my value is intrinsic, it is derived from being human”
ALAS YOU DO compare yourself
Because you DO HAVE PROBLEMS
And you strive to solve them
Therefore you’ll INVARIABLY look at others
And then you’ll compare yourself
And you came full circle
And then you’ll compare yourself
And you came full circle
Unless you learned to SEPARATE ACTIONS FROM THE ACTOR
Unless you learned that we are all very different,
And that the actions and the actor can be strangely different,
And you humbled up and understood that it is all VERY CONFUSING: what one does, what one says he does, what one says he is, what one is, what one isn’t….
That great actors can take terrible actions, and terrible actors can take great actions.
And that it is perhaps best that you CEASE attempting to explain it, attempting to determine it, find a doctrine in it,
And perhaps you go ahead and focus on WHAT ACTUALLY WORKS
Stop distracting yourself with all the nonsense minutia — is it me, is it him, is it this, is it that — and focus on what you CAN LEARN, WHAT YOU CAN TRY IMITATING, WHAT YOU CAN DO TODAY
You will compare yourself
Just do it right
Humble up
Relax
Don’t take it so personally
Do what others do — maybe it will work for you too!
Do it so that you can benefit your life — not so that it will benefit you ego
You’re not so great
Just try making the most out of this life: for yourself, for others