You do things.
You have problems.
You do things and get results.
You have problems and you work on them.
You do things and get results,
some are good results, some are less good;
You have problems during your time on this planet: problems of existence, problem of daily-life, problems of wants and don’t-wants, all kinds of problems
You have problems and some you solve and some you work on,
and some you fail to solve.
At what exact moment do you go from *FAILING* to *BEING A FAILURE*??
At what exact moment do you experience the negative emotions?
At what exact moment do you go from being a little disappointed with NOT getting the result you wanted — to being very disappointed with YOURSELF?
At what exact moment do you become INSECURE?
At what exact moment did you become INSECURE?
Could you be insecure if there was no you? Only the pure action?
No you couldn’t. Only a person can be insecure.
No trees are insecure. No birds are insecure. The sun is not insecure.
It just shines. And you’re disappointed, on a cloudy day, with it’s shine failing to reach you.
But the sun doesn’t care.
…but you do care.
You do things and expect results.
You have your wants and your problems and you expect headways.
You want to move forward so that your situation will improve,
or the world’s situation will improve,
at any rate, you want to move forward,
you play this game
sure you could make random moves… but what kind of fun would that be? How interesting would that be?
Sure you can scatter the chess pieces all over the chessboard,
You can take the chessboard and hit yourself in the head, with it,
I concede, that could be quite amusing,
But all this randomness gets boring
All this chaos gets boring,
You crave meaning
You crave results
You crave things
Therefore
you care
“You” care
Is CARE the problem?
Or is YOU the problem?
Is care insecure?
Or are you insecure?
Can there be care without you?
Can’t there just be care?
Just intelligence?
Just love?
Just the fact of doing everything the best you can, praising god and existence?
What exact moment do you become INSECURE?
It’s the same exact moment you become PRIDEFUL, isn’t it?
It’s the moment YOU CREATE YOU, and ASSIGN VALUE TO IT;
You NAME you,
You LABEL you,
You WRITE you,
You did some things and got some results and now you think “THAT’S YOU”,
You had one success and you think you’re success
You had one failure and you think you’re failure
You had 10 failure and 8 successes and you sometimes think you’re failure and sometimes think you’re success
You did a little bit of that thing and now you think you’re that man,
You got a little bit of that thing and now you think it belongs to you,
You wanted a little bit of that thing and now you think wanting things is what you do (rather then getting)
And all that time you’ are in TURMOIL
You are in CONFUSION
You are in pain, you are in Duhkha
and what if you did things — without the DOER?
Do you immediately HATE yourself when you make a wrong move in your little video game?
Do you hate yourself when you play the wrong note while learning guitar?
Do you hate yourself when you put too much cayenne pepper into your goulash?
Where is all this self-hate and insecurity coming from?
It’s coming from you IDENTIFYING, doesn’t it?
If that video game was your life — it would be quite distressing to KILL your character, wouldn’t it?
But it’s not. So you don’t care.
Yes, there are no consequences in the game,
but there is no identity either,
you DON’T DEFINE YOURSELF by the choices you made in a stupid video game,
or by the wrong notes you made while learning a guitar,
why does it have to be any different in life?
Don’t you do the best you can, in life?
You are confused, yes; You are lazy, yes; You have problems, yes;
But don’t you do the best you can?
When you play the video-game, don’t you do the best you can? Aren’t you TRYING to win the game?
Even when you’re NOT doing the best you can — say you’re perfunctorily going through the motion of your day-job — you’re still doing the BEST you can — in the large context of your life; Even if it involves suffering through the time in the office — in your confused understanding, this is the best thing you can do,
You don’t BLAME yourself when you’re sleeping, do you? You know you’re sleepy — therefore you sleep; You’re not hard on yourself for all the things you DIDN’T DO while you slept,
…Oh but that’s because no one told you yet to QUIT SLEEPING. Apparently humans sleep.
But I bet there will once be someone who will make you feel insecure about sleeping,
Perhaps SLEEPING is the reason you are not getting what you want in life!!
…But thus far you don’t blame yourself for needing to sleep,
you blame yourself for everything else,
where did this blame come from?
Don’t you know you’re doing the best you can?
Just like in that video game,
You can TRY playing is AS WELL AS POSSIBLE — but you will kill your character a few times,
it’s the same in life
you actually ARE doing the best you can,
you just don’t fully know how to play this game
and you FUCK UP a bunch of times,
we all do,
and some of us will fuck up their lives,
and that’s ok
they are doing the best they can
You are doing the best you can,
Don’t take your failures so personally
Obviously you would REVERSE those failures if you magically could,
Don’t take it all so personally
NOW am I saying be lenient?
See this is the point we don’t get,
What do you do when you want to improve at chess?
-You study the game
-You practice, winning and losing more games
-You ask others for help
-You study how you study — i.e. which studies improve your game more
And you DON’T take it personally,
Your KING has died MANY TIMES on this chessboard,
you don’t yet hate yourself,
you’re learning
as long as you study — you’re leaning,
if you don’t study, if you merely play — you just continue repeating your mistakes,
that is the problem,
our INEPTITUDE
our stupidity,
our confusion
Now, does the fact that you suddenly take it personally, that you become upset, is that the reason you improved your behaviours?
Or is it just a byproduct of you realising how stupid you have been — engaging in unproductive behaviours, playing the game the bad way, and not studying it and improving?
All this emotion is just a byproduct,
When you learn to walk — you fall a few times,
Perhaps you get a little upset — then you’re back trying,
You don’t hate yourself 10 years later for all the times you FAILED to WALK,
And perhaps you didn’t even care,
Perhaps you didn’t even get upset in the first place,
You fall a few times, realised your walking technique was incorrect, stupid, and you improved
Again,
you will fuck up your life
chances are you will
chances are you won’t be a fucking billionaire buddha celebrity nonsense
and all i can tell you is
-you must ACCEPT ALL THOSE SHORTCOMINGS
-while be extremely STRINGENT with the ACTIONS you engage in
you must commit to objectivity,
you must be ruthless in your dedication to the truth,
and that truth you discover by DOING THINGS
and the SUCCESS of what you do, in turn, depends on your EXPERTISE, on your LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS
you will fuck up your life
you will have done stupid things,
and you will have two choices to make:
-view yourself as a stupid fool and failure – for the rest of your life — OR NOT
-BE INTELLIGENT, TRY SOMETHING NEW, LEARN — or keep doing stupid shit
in any other game, you wouldn’t yet FEEL BAD upon killing your character a few times; And you’d slowly figure the game out;
But in this LIFE GAME — you hate yourself BEFORE you even TRIED
don’t
relax
you’re insignificant
you be gone in no time
no one cares how big you are
no one will remember you name
not all the monuments in the world stacked one on top of another could be visible from the space
you – and your legacy – are basically non-existent
there really is no point in hating yourself and feeling insecure
the cosmos doesn’t give a fuck
and really, all you can do, is DO YOUR BEST
focus only on what you can do right now,
the minor improvements you can incorporate into your life
gain MOMENTUM and keep fucking traction
and enjoy the little gains along the way,
it’s really not so difficult