Humans have many explicit AND IMPLICIT ways in which they communicate
Likewise humans have different kinds of relationships
(with closer relationships typically necessitating superior communication)
The absolute fundamentals of communication are deeply wired:
-you convey your feelings with your bearing
-and others can feel how you feel
-and human can always SENSE their place in the hierarchy
-including how particular person perceives them too
We build on top of those fundamentals with true and tested rules inherited in society:
-basic moral rules
And then we master communication by mastering our understanding of the deals we make with others, the value exchanges we create:
-which is easy when problems are easy
-and becomes increasingly tricky as the incentives becomes more complicated
Average person typically has basic fundamentals (inborn), has some learned rules, and knows absolute basics understanding of how to successfully make deals with others
Consequence of FAILURE OF COMMUNICATION is that one loses faith in any DETERMINATION in the relationship
It’s typically difficult to derive value from something which you don’t have any control over
And it actually now becomes rather RISKY to stay in such situation
Most relationships are close value exchanges
Therefore if you can’t trust someone — this drastically tips the balance against your favour
This effectively renders “MISCOMMUNICATION” as an act of cheating.
Your intention doesn’t effectively matter at the end — your partner will find someone with whom they can communicate effectively and achieve common goals.
Therefore the BIAS in favour of COMMUNICATION is desirable, and NECESSARY:
-clarity and organisation of one’s beliefs and ideas
-rapport, and sharing of values
-having “been through a lot” — because only trial by fire is the trial
-You don’t actually have permission to be weird. If you have fundamental difficulties communicating — you need a doctor / priest / exorcist.
-You don’t actually have permission to disregard the world and it’s cultural legacy. You’re not yet “beyond” the world and culture — therefore you should strive to be more cultured.
-Finally you should be upright and very clear in all your relationships. Great things are built on mutually beneficial long term exchanges of value — which are only possible when there is trust. It’s never conflict — only cooperation.
LEARN TO COMMUNICATE
I mean it
It’s a shockingly lacking skill these days. We are shooting ourselves in the foot.
Confusion is destructive. Get serious about your communication