Test is continued from Part I: No Regrets: 3 Levels of “No Regrets”

 

…and I’m not saying it’s easy

This is why it’s enlightened.

For as long as you’re in the paradigm of LOSS AND GAIN, of investment and return — you can never FREE yourself from regrets

Because obviously the full insight to which choice has yielded the greatest value only comes posteriori, only comes after you have made your choices, and enacted them.

And you should think in terms of investment and return, I am not denying it.

But you should not derive your sense of completion from it.

Else your entire life will be nothing but regret. Because there’s nothing you can do without later learning it could have been done better.

 

There must be therefore a universal principle whereby you gouge the quality of your decisions, quality of your actions.

I define it as TANGIBLY DOING BETTER TODAY.

You control your actions (and your thoughts and values and attitudes) before all else.

This should absolutely be the foundation of all that you do.

Long term strategies and subtleties of judgement are STILL a subset of how well you did today, how judicious your decisions were today, what you learned today.

 

This part was easy because this part is logical. It’s not obvious but at least it’s logical.

The more difficult part is PSYCHOLOGICALLY unlearning the habit of waiting for tomorrow, of depending on your “situation” to inform your inner state.

I can rant all day about freedom from regret and it can be logical or not — but will not make a dent in the palpable EXPERIENCE of REGRET. If the feeling is there — all the logic is useless. Emotion precedes thought.

 

The logic is the same but the process is different.

You moved focus from your situation to your daily actions in order to arrive at the universal principle of living well and doing well.

Now emotionally: you rewire yourself emotionally to respond to what you ALREADY have, and how well you DID today — as opposed to ANY notion of the future

Granted you don’t “cling” to what you have. You teach yourself to love it and appreciate it. But you don’t cling to it. That would presuppose regret in the event of losing it.

Essentially you UNLEARN REGRET.

And once you unlearned regret today — it is unlearned tomorrow.

Obviously you still want to live well. Because you can’t cheat the state of the matters of yourself being true to some principle, your principle.

But you unlearn the dependence on regret to inform you about the quality of your life (and often incorrectly, based on false values)

 

This is enlightened “no regrets”.

It is predicated on living true to one’s values.

It is predicated on having values.

It is predicated on values being universal — applying every day.

It is predicated on emotional congruity, whereby your beliefs and your emotions are aligned.

False, negative “no regrets” recognises no values, as it is predicated on self-delusion. You can’t have values when there is self-delusion.

Superficial “no regrets” of merely moving on is not deep enough to ever truly solve the problem of regret — NOR is it most effective in moving through life — as regret is poorer motivator than strong sense of purpose and values.

Therefore

Do strive for “no regrets”,

But not from the place of denial of yesterday, nor denial of tomorrow.

Instead from the place of AFFIRMING today, AND tomorrow.

From the place of developing and honouring one’s values.