We think we treats others equally

We think we judge others by the same standards

 

We don’t

And on more than one level

 

First there’s discrimination

We don’t even acknowledge that we discriminate

That’s because we don’t even know any more what it means

Discriminate is to recognise a distinction

The distinction just is

We can recognise it correctly, or incorrectly

Then we can choose what we do with that insight

And in most cases we can do whatever we want with it

We’re free to buy the phone we like, hang out with people we like, and do what we like

And in some cases it’s considered unfair to others, according to some rules

And that rule can only ever be merit, be mutual gain — or lack thereof

It can only be unfair if your benefit came at the expense of others, NET expense of others — meaning it was not offset in merit

and though this definition is vague, we ultimately often do manage to, without much difficulty — VOLUNTARILY CHOOSE to voluntarily give to others, and gain in response, OR to do something ourselves, without impacting others at all,

 

This is the first form of discrimination, which has been demonised — and therefore repressed

We pretend we don’t do it

We pretend we don’t actually make choices to benefit ourselves

Which includes treating different people differently

In accordance to what they have to offer to us

 

But there’s the second way, which is even deeper

Though we reject the idea of discrimination — in practice we kind of DO KNOW we discriminate

And sometimes we’re astute enough to realise that the true problem with discrimination is not discrimination itself — it’s incorrect discrimination, which leads to new loss for everyone

The second way is deeper

 

The second way has to do with our more fundamental sense of justice, human dignity, fairness

We consider it a virtue to treat everyone equally, on a fundamental level

It’s one of our western foundational values: equality before law, due process

It is one of the fundamental tenets of humanism

It is the equality before there is inequality

You can choose who you work with, who you have children with, who you love, who you get drunk with — but you don’t choose who you respect as a human being

You respect everyone as a human being

That is the idea

 

And of course we fail it

Of course we fail it, because merely reflexively preaching this virtue doesn’t yet bring it into existence

And of course we fail it — because our INSTINCT to discriminate runs deeper than our conscious thoughts

Indeed, the meritocratic discrimination — is still a very much explicit reasoning process

“I prefer apples over pears — therefore I shall get an apple. I prefer apple because it’s less sweet”

Even if we get confused with some egalitarian nonsense, like, “pears also deserve justice! deserve a chance ! let’s not perpetute systemic fruit inequality” — when we look at it cooly and calmly and with common sense — there’s nothing stopping us from comprehending

However, a deeper discrimination, rooted in our unconscious instincts and preferences and biases — is far more difficult to make conscious, make aware of

 

We don’t treat others equally, justly, not even as human beings

We just don’t like some people

We are just very attracted to some other people

We idolise and idealise some people

We demonise other people

And many people we just don’t give a shit about

And some people we respect

And some people we want to impress

And some people we really want to like us, love us

And some people we want nothing from, other than to leave us alone

And from some people we want a very specific thing

And from some people we want something else

 

Again, some of that is more obviously explicit,

And lot of it is utterly intuitive, vague, elusive

 

For instance, how do you quantify how much you want someone’s love?

And how do you quantify how much you’re willing to give for it?

And how do you realise how much it distorts how you see them, and treat them, and how you permit them seeing you and treating you?

What if it’s not love you want, but someone’s business opportunities?

How does that impact how you treat them?

And the point is not this simple arithmetic of “I prefer to work with this person over that person”

The point is the complex impact it has on your ideals of treating everyone kindly and humanly and judging everyone by the same standards

CLEARLY you’re not doing that

Clearly you’ll judge that useful and attractive and beneficial person differently, to different standards,

And even more so — clearly you’ll treat them differently

And you refuse to admit it

You don’t even see it so how could you admit it

 

And I’m not even saying it‘s wrong to FAIL to judge everyone by the same standard

Perhaps we can’t even do that to our fellow humans

Perhaps you do get a pass if you’re rich and powerful and attractive and useful

Even the MORAL pass, besides every other advantage you’ve already reaped because of your power

Even the pass of being morally excused

Perhaps it’s how it has to be

 

What is DEFINITELY wrong however, is that we are so utterly clueless about this process

We pretend we’re so egalitarian

We definitely pretend we’re so fair

We’re not egalitarian

We buy shit that’s cheaper and better — from those who did it cheaper and better

And we’re not fair

Our estimation of that person we love or admire is far greater than our estimation of our own brother, and we’d forgive them so much more, and we’d treat them so much better

And maybe it’s ok

But just stop pretending that it’s otherwise

 

Indeed, we treat others differently even out of PURE PRACTICALITY

If we know someone is a certain way, that’s what they’re like — we can surprisingly quickly ACCEPT them to be this way, with all of their vices,

As opposed to someone we have hopes of changing, or have expectations of them listening to us and doing what we say,

Hell indeed expectations alone cause us to treat radically differently different people

Obviously so

Because the WAY we treat others is obviously strategic

It reflects what we want to get from them

If we hope to get something — we model our treatment of them accordingly

Which can be us treating them more leniently, or more harshly. More indulgently, or more sternly.

Obviously we do it

And we barely admit it

And we definitely don’t admit our double standards