Either you get your way or not — no nagging, no whining, no complaining

 

There’s only what we want:

-what you want

-what the other party wants

Then you negotiate

 

Ideally you come to a PERFECT agreement

-if not — you continue negotiating

-worst case: you fail to achieve any kind of agreement — therefore you are both ALTOGETHER DEPRIVED of WHAT YOU WANTED

 

….except,

is it the worst case?

 

The REAL worst case is if you are DEPRIVED — and yet continue VAINLY NEGOTIATING — while ACCOMPLISHING NOTHING

 

The latter unfortunately often becomes the reality, when:

-people don’t know what they want

-fail to articulate it

-articulate it but don’t hold others accountable — rendering the request meaningless

-OR articulate something they don’t really entirely intend to get their way with, aka JUST NAG, run their mouth, etc.

 

Of course none of that is acceptable, because, as we already established:

-it fails to ACCOMPLISH anything, you fail to GET WHAT YOU WANT

-it’s a waste of energy

-it’s a waste of LIFE on NEGATIVITY and BAD VIBES

 

Therefore you better:

-get clear on WTF you want

–make it clear to others and yourself

-if they can’t give it to you, or you can’t — find someone else who will

-or take them as they are

–don’t waste anyone’s time with frivolous nagging and BS

whining is for children, aka animals deprived yet of agency

-don’t waste YOUR time and MOOD on negativity which doesn’t result in any improvement,

or when it’s not even necessary for improvement

-and of course don’t let others waste your time, mood, LIFE — on frivolous BS

 

Addendum:

 

Of course some people will NAG forever

And yet they won’t understand that the problem truly is with them

The LITMUS TEST is of course if THEY ARE WILLING TO END THE RELATIONSHIP with you because of that small FOIBLE / WHIM

But it works both ways: since you also perhaps are not willing to end the relationship because of their NAGGING

 

If you’re truly serious you can eventually have a ‘crucial conversation’ with them — in which you’ll assert that you will tolerate no more nagging — and will not change for any trifling reason

 

Or,

in the worst-case scenario — since you understand they won’t understand:

you will, unfortunately, just have to ignore them

Which of course is toxic

Often makes matters worse

(since much of nagging and whining is just a way to get attention — which you’re now withdrawing)

(sometimes it CAN work — since withdrawing attention is in and of itself a very clear signal of what the consequences of poor behaviour are)

And is wrong in and of itself — because you’re not being perfectly honest

Having said that — not every human relation and transaction can be VIVISECTED, if you will

=you MAY want to PRAGMATICALLY view it as a price of obtaining what you want