Anger is frustration with inability to control something.
Things don’t go the way you expect -> anger
Someone disappointed you, didn’t do what you expected -> anger
etc.
Upon getting angry, you can:
-choose to stay angry, and direct that anger towards acquisition of more control
-choose to stay angry, and direct that anger in no sensible direction
-choose to let go of anger, and let go of control
-choose to let go of anger, and ADAPT
See anger is neither good nor bad in and of itself. Anger is just the unpleasant feeling when you realise you are failing to control something.
That feeling exists, it’s hard-wired.
It’s clinging to this feeling, or using it in an unhealthy way, which is the problem.
The worst is of course clinging to anger — without making any use of it.
Clinging to anger AND making use of it is only slightly higher paradigm. It’s glamourised in our stupid culture full of man incapable of acting from a higher motivation, therefore impressed by an “angry man exerting their will on the world”.
But “using anger” as fuel is obviously incredibly unintelligent and crude and inefficient.
It’s best to experience anger as nothing more but a passing signal — revealing to you that your EXPECTATIONS were MISALIGNED.
Your expectations were misaligned,
You thought something would be A, and it was B.
You thought things would go in direction of A, and it went in direction of B.
Your expectations were misaligned,
This again is not wrong in and of itself. You WILL make mistakes, and you will make inaccurate predictions. You’re NOT omnipotent. You’re acting on INCOMPLETE information. And DECISIONS must be made — REGARDLESS if you know what is right or not.
It’s again your attitude which makes all the difference,
Upon GETTING ANGRY — you ought to instantly realise the MISALIGNMENT of your expectations.
Then, upon realising the MISALIGNMENT, what do you do?
You ADAPT.
You ADAPT.
That’s it.
It’s easier said than done. If it was so easy then everyone would adapt, no one would make the same mistake twice, and no one would stay angry longer than a second.
You set about your work, you craft a meticulous plan, you invest yourself emotionally into it — and then it ALL goes sideways.
Of course you NEITHER want to change your precious plan, nor are you happy about things not going right.
Of course you want to recoup your investment, you don’t want to acknowledge the sunk cost.
And perhaps in the caveman days it would actually have worked — getting only more frustrated, and pressing on that rock in your way with even more strength and determination.
But you’re no longer a caveman — therefore it won’t work. Nor is it worth is, even if it were to work
Instead you adapt.
You don’t repress ANGER. You instantly recognise it — instantly FULLY ACKNOWLEDGE IT — and instantly LEARN from it.
And then you use that WISDOM to change your plan. To adapt.
You don’t HOLD onto a plan. Plans are disposable. Plans are means to an end. You understand it. You understood it and therefore you rewired your attitudes. Your eyes are on the PRICE, not on any singular obstacle. You don’t get frustrated over a singular obstacle. YOU UNDERSTAND there will be obstacles, sometimes more, sometimes less. Sometimes a trivial problem will become a nightmare. Sometimes a menacing problem will turn to be just a joke.
You are ADAPTABLE.
Whatever you set about doing — you are ADAPTABLE AND RESOURCEFUL.
You show up and you only bring your intelligence, your persistence, your focus, and your effort. THOSE are the constants. NOT the plan, which will change, which will have to be altered, which will disappoint, by it’s very nature.
You show up, with an utterly open mind, free from the burden of expectation, free from impatience and hurry — with only INTELLIGENCE, PERSISTENCE, FOCUS And EFFORT.
Those are your only problems,
And then you work.
And some things go amazingly, better than you expected.
And some go horribly, and you LAUGH at it. You know things can sometimes get chaotically bad, for inscrutable reasons!
You laugh and you reset and you adapt.
And this is how you are IMPERTURBABLE.