We have conflicting desires

We’re not aware of that conflict

As a result, we reconcile them sloppily

 

examples:

We may convince ourselves we don’t really want something.

We may reject something because it’s “not good enough”.

We may even resent something, if we can’t have it.

 

Of course if such is our reconciliation of desires — we end up sabotaging ourselves

One of the two things we desire — we fail to acquire

Or maybe we fail to acquire both,

in not even mustering enough resolve to make a choice

 

Of course often you could have both

You can have a bike that’s both stronger and lighter

 

But that requires first becoming aware of those conflicts and different pulls and wishes and desires

And the problem is — often we’re NOT aware of them

We DON’T know what we want

And then talk ourselves into NOT WANTING what we want, or WANTING what we don’t want

And end up without

 

If only you did inquire within,

and refrain from oversimplifying that problem,

and muster ruthless honesty that is necessary to study oneself seriously,

and then studied yourself, your psyche, your soul, conscientiously

maybe you would be able to discern those different aspirations and wants and desires and calls,

and how they interact with one another,

 

AND at that point, you would at last know the map,

therefore you could engineer the best plan how to navigate this tapestry

which would be coherent

 

which, of course, is lovely and desirable,

It’s lovely — because you get more of what you want

But it’s even more lovely — because you’re not lying to yourself (even if you never intended to lie)

And it’s the most lovely — because you are more conscious and self-aware

What else is life but to be conscious, but to live consciously?