Societal expectations are great
Societal expectations are underrated
Let’s bifurcate societal expectations into a 2×2 grid of categories:
–positive, desirable values, qualities
–negative, stifling dogmas
-clear, explicit, known, indisputable
–tacit, hidden, Chesterton’s fence
In a thriving society — you can expect it’s MOSTLY positive
That’s why it outperforms other societies
And that’s why it’s best men outperform best men of other societies
That would entail superior values
How is that a bad thing?
Let’s look at the problem of explicit vs tacit benefits
If it’s beneficial, and CLEARLY SO — then again — how is this a bad thing?
How is this a bad thing that SOCIETY pressures you to CLEARLY be better?
I don’t understand
And then with tacit values — that’s a little bit more complicated
If it’s tacit, hidden — you can’t immediately verify if it’s positive or not
You can then trust the tradition, trust the rule, trust the system, trust the dogma,
Or you can reject it, just as blindly
The only NON-blind thing to do is to VERIFY it, the best you can
And think harder about it
And remain largely agnostic,
Reconcile that “this which persists — likely persists for a reason”,
reconcile it with “progress happens and by definition eradicates the outdated old”
And these are all the options
Either you know it’s a GOOD idea,
or you SUSPECT it’s a good idea,
or you have strong suspicion that it’s a bad idea
With good ideas — you only stand to benefit by the society PRESSURING you to do better
With bad ideas — you stand to benefit by choosing your own opinion, your own experience, over blind dogma
You still have that choice
So what’s the root of the negative view of SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS?
If it’s merely an optional thing — you choose to abide by it when it benefits you and the society — and you’re free to ignore it when you suspect it’s not for you — then this is ONLY EVER a good thing, is it not?
What’s the root of the negative connotation?
Clearly, we don’t like pressure, right?
We don’t like being told what to be like
And we don’t like being told that we’re NOT GOOD ENOUGH
Clearly this causes a lot of distress
Who wants more distress in their lives
“Fuck that”, we say
I think this is the wrong answer,
You can’t NOT have distress
You can kill yourself, you can die — and that’s the end of WORLD, SOCIETY, LIFE, GOD — expecting things from you
But as long as you’re alive — you can’t escape the… POSSIBILITY
The possibility of WHAT will become of you
And the choice to WILL that becoming
To deny it, to reject the POSSIBILITY — is to deny life
THIS INCLUDES the POSSIBILITIES that SOCIETY has designed for you
OF COURSE you could, and often should — reject the world’s idea for yourself
But you do it not in saying “fuck them”
You do it by having a BETTER IDEA
A BETTER PLAN for yourself
And of course — to improve something — it usually takes quite significant understanding of that thing, IN ITS CURRENT FORM
That’s how you know it’s strengths and weaknesses — and can improve it
SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS are no different
So, to conclude, and put it simply,
A Stepford traditionalist, a career-zombie, a religious puppet, a pompous patriot — I do find those types tremendously pathetic, and quite dead inside
But I feel the same way about the “FUCK THIS” crowd, so eager to deny all values because they make them feel uncomfortable about their LOSERDOM
Look around yourself with inspiration, love
Espy what you value, what inspires you, what fills you with exhilaration and vitality
Then go do those things, get those things, become those things, live and breathe those things
Look a little longer at things others value — MAYBE there’s a reason. See what they value and see yourself in their humanity, know yourself thus
And if it’s not your thing, perhaps just let it pass for now
With no attitude, no disrespect, no dogmatism, no pride… nothing really
Only curiosity, open mind and respect