Life is sweet and life is exciting and life is scary and life is painful and life is short and life is crazy

 

To not make it quite lovely and wonderful is a kind of strange perversion, a malfunction of the mind and spirit

 

To pretend it’s not quite painful and short and bittersweet and bitter and rife with suffering and scary and meaningless and short and then you fucking die,

to pretend it’s not that — is just delusional,

it’s a malfunction of cognition

 

I love “feel good” because it simplifies residual complexities of life into a simple single direction of making this place and this experience a bit more lovely and sweet

 

I loathe “feel good” for being blatantly delusional, and thus religious, as in dogmatic, in that fucking delusion

 

I also find “feel good” distasteful for that reason

For if it’s not actually delusional — then it merely upgrades to being shallow, on purpose.

I don’t want a “feel good” escape, because it’s empty

It’s devoid of what makes life so sexy: the uncertainty, the danger, the thrill, the excitement, the tension

Merely feeling good and stupidly smiling is just that — boring and stupid and tedious, in comparison

 

For the same reason I like the dark,

It can too become tedious and exaggerated, at which point it is just a stupid fetish, a caricature, an insecure striving for identity, or a delusion and religion as well

But the counterphobic attraction to the dark and gritty has a profound element of curiosity and pensiveness and existential courage in it

I think it’s deep, literally

I think it’s a human instinct which is necessary for a fuller existence, more examined one

Living attentively is perhaps the only good thing to do within this lifetime, the opposite of being just a dead mindless meat

Cogito ergo sum indeed, if you will

 

I still love “feel good”

because you’re likely a sad, pathetic cunt

If you’re not laughing all the time, cracking jokes, having great time, finding joy in everything and anything, and finding love all around you

“Feel good” is a good frame to overindex on

But you have to do this right

Skip the dumb esoterics, the dumb baseless promises, the dumb rituals, the dumb shallow emotions,

And focus on DEEP feelings of LOVE and GRATITUDE and APPRECIATION,

And focus on ATTENTION,

(There’s nothing easy about attention, try holding your attention on a single point (meditation), and you’ll know)

And focus on REAL WORLD ACTION TODAY

(i.e. something you can TANGIBLY DO, IMPROVE, ENGAGE today — rather than in some vague future or past)

That is the right way to do “feel good”

 

…And after such day of good work, good life, and good feeling,

you can reflect upon your imminent death,

or some other unpleasant though, like the sweet kitten mortality

and you can also conceive of all the failures that are before you, inevitably,

which will either be failure to achieve the goals which you hopefully made,

or in the worse case — failure to set goals and delay your disgusting rotting

 

I think this is fair