A fit is better than chronic exasperation
A fit releases the anger
You throw a fit and it’s gone
You also communicate your disappointment rather clearly
Of course throwing a FIT is not ideal
It typically overdoes it
It creates a more precarious environment
And it reveals lack of self-control
But it’s almost always better than utter REPRESSION of one’s frustration
The misinterpretation of stoicism and politeness and self-control has lead to this sick perversion, where you basically PRETEND you never got frustrated, pretend the problem doesn’t exist,
It only makes you sick and MORE SICK
The frustration only goes deeper
You basically postponed addressing the problem
You basically are accumulating debt
Eventually it becomes so big that you become frustrated all the time
It starts colouring everything you do
Eventually becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy
You’re angry before you even started doing something
So of course it goes poorly
And then you have only more reasons to be angry
If you just got angry immediately, and DID something, that would have been far better, would it not?
If that person is hard to work with — fire their ass
If you don’t like working for that fool — tell them to fuck off and resign (just ask for a raise first)
If computer doesn’t work — smash it and buy a new one
Seriously
Of course you’d rather do neither
You’d rather not get angry in the first place
Frustration is merely LACK OF CONTROL
If you had EVERYTHING under control — nothing would frustrate you
If you were PREPARED for everything — nothing would surprise you and frustrate you
But again, this is not realistic
If you’re actually pushing yourself in life — OF COURSE you’ll be surprised sometimes, of course you’ll be frustrated
The key part is that you ADAPT
It is indeed a set of skills you can develop
You can learn to prepare not only for the rare trouble — but for the VERY rare trouble
You can learn to build systems which are not only robust — but ANTIFRAGILE
Then you can learn to RAPIDLY adapt on the FLY
without even having time to get upset, already coming up with an adaptation, with an improvement, with a workaround
And finally, you can learn to REPRESS STRATEGICALLY
You can learn to keep a “poker face”
It’s not your real face, not your real feelings, and it’s FINE. That’s why it’s called a POKER FACE
You keep poker face because you’re negotiating
This is no time to get emotional
You’ll have to deal with your emotions later
You’ll have to ADAPT later
You ABSOLUTELY will have to do it — else you’ll get sick and frustrated and miserable. So it’s imperative that you DO eventually do it,
But AT THE TIME of NEGOTIATION, you are CALM
Also, what people seem to miss:
You don’t have to NEGOTIATE everything immediately
You can simply say “I DON’T KNOW”, and POSTPONE the decisions
Then recede into your office, go for a walk, ponder the matter deeply,
ADDRESS everything which frustrates you, everything which you can’t control, everything which MUST be done, every nonsense random variable which may pop up,
THEN return with your plan
That is ideal,
But,
NEVER confuse EMOTIONAL REPRESSION for this supreme CONTROL and SELF-CONTROL
If you CAN’T successfully ADAPT, if you can’t SUCCESSFULLY ADDRESS THE FRUSTRATION — then might as well get FUCKING ANGRY right there and then
MAYBE you’re just not cut for this job
MAYBE you just don’t want it
MAYBE it’s not worth the frustrations
MAYBE it’s better to just get fucking angry, tell them what you think, then leave
I don’t think HONEST RAGE is nearly as much of a problem as those MOUNTAINS of REPRESSED ANGER, FRUSTRATION, NEGATIVITY, HOSTILITY, BITTERNESS
And the latter only creates more anger
If we just let it all out, then RE-started from the place of EQUANIMITY, the world would be a much more peaceful place
and everyone would be much more effective, not poisoned by emotional distortions, and actually only doing things for which they are fully prepared
And how do you ever do anything of substance and quality anyway, if you’re not prepared?
It shouldn’t really be so frustrating
Mastery is flowing, rather than frustrating
Perhaps you’re at the wrong job mate
It shouldn’t be so frustrating, perhaps you’re poor at your work
So throw a fit
Or go back to drawing room and PREPARE yourself properly