Most men are rigid.
Most men eventually consolidate in their beliefs.
The psyche wraps around those beliefs protectively.
The entire machinery of schemas and biases makes it immensely difficult to penetrate.
Don’t hope for an average person to change. People don’t change.
Most men are rigid.
There’s little chance of them changing.
There’s little chance of them changing their mind.
There’s little chance of getting through to them.
But there actually is a small chance.
Because most men are not entirely fucking crazy.
If they happen to stumble upon an extremely clear, obvious, striking revelation of their ignorance — they may be able to recognise it.
If you pop their bubble, force them out of the prison of their mind and environment and echo chamber — they may actually “see reason”.
But then there are TRULY OSSIFIED people.
Then there are TRULY crazy people.
There are people who would rather DIE — than change their minds.
And for them — ALL hope is lost.
Why does it matter?
Because we are quite used to RIGID people — who are difficult to convince — but nevertheless possible.
But we are not so used to crazy people.
We humans disagree with each other on many many matters — and we rarely come to the agreement — but when it truly matters, we usually find some common ground, or else just find someone else to work with. We usually are NOT crazy.
But crazy people do exist.
And unless you realize that they are CRAZY — you will be CRAZY to try to convince them.
See again it’s not about always finding common ground.
It’s about finding common ground WHEN IT MATTERS.
Most disagreements you have will remain disagreements till you die.
What matters is RESOLVING those few disagreements that ACTUALLY MATTER.
Disagreements which determine the entire nature of the relationship, entire nature of the cooperation.
You may be partnering with someone with whom you tend to agree, and with whom you believe that you will be able to resolve disagreements which matter, when you disagree.
Most people, stubborn or not, rigid or not, inflexible or not, will indeed be able to set aside differences when it matters.
But not the few crazy ones.
You want to recognise them earlier.
And you want to run when you see them.
You want to run when you see them,
Because there is NOTHING you want to build with those people.
Because whatever you build — is GUARANTEED to eventually crumble entirely.
Because you will disagree. People disagree. People have different perspectives.
But with those people — it only takes one serious disagreement.
Because they won’t back off. They won’t even hear you. They are SO ossified, so crazy, so detached — that they LITERALLY won’t hear you.
Those are not your regular stubborn people. Those are crazy people.
You want to run when you see them.
You want to run when you see a crazy person.
A person that will DIE for his beliefs.
Those people exist.
Personality disorders exist.
Fanatics exist.
They DIE fanatics. They don’t change. And they die sociopaths or psychopaths or narcissists or BPDs, etc…
You must ABSOLUTELY recognise them BEFORE you even deal with them.
And you must ABSOLUTELY abandon them when you recognise them as such.
Remember — it’s very hard to do more harm by simply walking away. In walking away — you create finite harm — but break the process of potentially unending harm.
Now,
Myself I obviously avoid most rigid people — who get triggered and defensive — RATHER than eager to slowly pursuit the truth together, steelmanning each others position in a mutual quest for understanding.
I don’t debate.
I don’t try to “make things work”.
I’m not polite.
If we don’t share values — then fuck off.
BUT,
of course sometimes we make an exception,
For the family,
for people of exceptional ability in one aspect — and utterly different perspective in another,
We are different but we must work with each other,
However all of the above presupposes some common ground.
And believe me – all of the above presupposes that — in a critical situation — compromise is possible to be worked out, if necessary.
I avoid rigid fucking people. I don’t have time to convince nobody. I don’t have time to enlighten someone who doesn’t get it. BUT some of them I accept in my life.
But not the crazy ones.
Not the utterly ossified ones.
Because they would rather DIE than find the common ground.
“CRAZY” is a word for a reason.
We have more precise ways to describe such people today,
But CRAZY is an old word. “INSANE” is an even older word.
It’s a word for a reason. It’s THE person you want to avoid.
“POSSESSED” is also a word. We used to burn those people.
Burn them out of your life, when you see them.
You don’t have to make it work with most people. You only need a few.
But you REALLY don’t have to make it work with crazy people.
Peace