I can consider action or actions someone is taking as admirable, as productive, constructive, as professional, as good, as moral

I can also consider them inferior to the actions someone else is taking, or I myself am taking

I can view someone’s philosophy, someone’s approach, someone’s overarching plan — as productive, as constructive, as intelligent, as well-thought-out, as promising, as sound, as wise,

I can also believe that there are better ways of approaching life, better ways of approaching a particular problem,

I can see the outcomes someone has gotten in life and view them as desirable, and view them as commendable, and I can perhaps view them as indicative of someone’s great decisions, well-executed plans, as it is expressed in the right actions

Or I can view them as indicative of someone’s poor decisions, poor plans or lack thereof, poor execution

Or I can view those outcomes as insignificant

 

In any of the above cases,

We either SHARE VALUES — or DON’T.

Or else — maybe we share maybe we don’t. It can also be unknown.

But when I feel I have enough reasons to take a position — I take it.

My position is that of either believing that WE SHARE VALUES — OR NOT

 

Therefore,

You do something I disagree with = “perhaps we don’t share values”.

You have a great plan that I believe is terrible = “perhaps we don’t share values”.

You think what I said is horrible and wrong = “perhaps we don’t share values”.

You think I’m making a mistake = “perhaps we don’t share values”.

You think what I amount to in life is not admirable, not indicative of the right decisions and actions and intelligence and wisdom and clarity = “perhaps we don’t share values”.

The outcomes you got in life are outcomes I do not want for myself = “perhaps we don’t share values”.

You do me wrong — perhaps I misunderstood you and your intentions and how you conduct yourself in the world = perhaps we “don’t share values”

 

Let’s go further, let’s be more blunt:

You think I’m an idiot = You think what I’m saying is factually wrong and unintelligent and the actions I’m engaging in are unproductive or destructive = “perhaps we don’t share values”.

I think you’re an enemy of the society, therefore should be separated from it, so as to not have a negative impact on it = “perhaps we don’t share values”.

 

“PERHAPS WE DON’T SHARE VALUES”

This is all you have to say

 

YOU DON’T NEED TO HAVE AN OPINION

And you DEFINITELY DON’T NEED to get EMOTIONAL

And likely you don’t have to DO anything

Don’t even have to “punish” anyone

All you have to decide is,

WHETHER YOU SHARE VALUES — OR NOT

 

If you don’t — you may want to end that relationship

professional or social or romantic or whatever

This is all there is to it

 

From now on,

Every single time you disagree with someone — ONLY ask yourself if you SHARE VALUES. Before you distract yourself with any further fatuous interferences

Every single time someone “did something” you disagree with — only ask yourself if you SHARE VALUES. Before you draw any further conclusions

Someone did better than you — do you share values? Can you learn from them?

Someone did something you believe to be wrong? Do you share values? Where do your values diverge?

Someone is doing something differently than you do. Living life differently than you do. Do you share values? What can you learn from each other?

 

BEFORE ANY CONCLUSION,

BEFORE ANY FURTHER CONSIDERING,

BEFORE ANY EMOTIONALITY and like nonsense,

Before you utter the word “justice”, or “moral”, or “right” or “wrong”,

Just ask yourself,

DO YOU SHARE VALUES?

DO YOU NOT SHARE VALUES?

WHERE DO YOUR VALUES DIVERGE?

WHERE DO YOUR VALUES MEET?

….

You can then take it further,

Then investigate,

What you think of them as a whole,

What you want to do with them,

What is the significance of it. What bearing it has on one’s individual decisions, choices, actions

You can go deeper,

You can ELABORATE on those VALUES which you share and which you don’t share

But FUNDAMENTALLY: it all boils down to this simple statement,

“SHARING VALUES”

 

This will save you from a lot of confusion,

Drama,

Stupidity,

Disagreement,

All those times you thought you understood someone,

All those times you thought you could have judged someone,

All those times you thought you have the moral high-ground,

All those times you thought you were somehow better than someone,

Or worse than someone

All those times you thought you were the one in the right

And conversely,

All those time someone thought they knew you,

All those times someone judged you,

All those times someone thought himself better than you,

All those times someone thought you had no clue,

If you can just say,

“PERHAPS WE DON’T SHARE VALUES”

then you’re free from all those problems,

You don’t have to be right or wrong,

You’ll do what you think is right and they’ll do what they think is right,

You don’t have to be like them,

You can be the way you want to be — and they can be the way they want to be,

You don’t have to be better or worse,

You can have YOUR VALUES — and they can have THEIRS

 

Yes

This statement, “PERHAPS WE DON’T SHARE VALUES”,

This is the TRUE essence of humility, tolerance, open-mindedness, honesty

You’re not PRETENDING to be approving or agreeing with someone. You ADMIT that you don’t share values.

But neither do you PRESUME that your values are the right values. You say that you don’t share values — rather than that they don’t have THE values.

This is the beauty of this statement,

It contains both those truths,

And avoids the confusion of the pro-tolerance social tropes,

And avoids the confusion of the self-assertive dead-end ego nonsense,

 

“PERHAPS WE DON’T SHARE VALUES”

That’s all you have to say