note: this is a PROFOUNDLY misunderstood subject. I don’t think we actually know what politeness is, and what purpose it serves. Bear with me You can be completely transparent. Or you can be polite. Being polite means taking extra measures to ensure that the receiving party — besides receiving our message — is also …
Tag: Relations
Eradicate Illusionary Hierarchies
Practically — hierarchies help us organise ourselves in the society. They are a good thing. Spiritually — hierarchies are void. Void because you will die anyway. God doesn’t give a fuck about your place in some illusionary hierarchy. Your specific value does depend on your place in hierarchy. Your intrinsic value doesn’t. Equating your intrinsic …
Giving Value Is a Cheat Code
Giving value is a cheat code You can be morally a scum But if you give enough value — people will bear with you People will IDEALISE you They will overlook your flaws You will still be a scum. A single good deed, or 1000 good deeds, don’t wash out a bad one, not …
Assess Quality Via Negativa
What someone can’t do reveals more about their ability than what they can do Anyone can do a whole lot of things Anyone can think they know a whole lot of things and think they can do a whole lot of things Anyone can talk big Anything looks easy until you’ve tried and failed …
Function and Dysfunction
There’s function and dysfunction (let’s define “function” as the opposite of dysfunction) -to function is to function well -to dysfunction is to function unwell -to function unwell is to eventually NOT function, to eventually fail -to function well is to survive and thrive, and continue functioning, and functioning well Usually dysfunction is quickly revealed. …
Society, Rules, You and “Your Business”
It’s not just “your business” It’s not just “your business” who you are and what you do It’s everyone else’s business (unless you’re living in the forest) Obviously you are responsible You are first responsible for “your business” But then there’s everyone else you affect, And then there’s how they affect you And that …
I Learn From Morons HOW TO LEARN
I learn from morons how morons learn And since I’m a moron — I learn how I learn Because I am a moron there’s someone so much smarter than me that he makes me look like a complete moron he connects the dots 10 times faster and he remembers every dot and he sees …
No Second Chances
“No second chances” is a heuristic that is simply effective. When something failed 5 times in a row — you can’t rely on it. You get rid of it But when SOMEONE fails us 5 times — somehow our instinct is to get angry, or try to explain it, or try to punish it… …
MORE DISCRIMINATING = MORE LOVING
When you’re more discriminating you can be more loving Do you know why you get mad at people? You get MAD so that you can DO something, CHANGE something You get mad, you get upset, you grow discontented, you get worried, you get anxious — all of that so that you can DO something, …
BALANCE SHEET OF THE RELATIONSHIP
There’s a BALANCE SHEET in every relationship — it records the VALUE YOU GAVE, and the VALUE YOU RECEIVED. You ALWAYS want to have GIVEN MORE than you received. You want to have GIVEN MORE than you received. And you want that to be recognized by BOTH SIDES. Because VALUE in a RELATIONSHIP is …