There’s the entirety of your psyche: what you want, what you like, what you do, what drives you, etc
It’s your thoughts and feelings and actions
You feel more or less comfortable with revealing this PSYCHE of yours
We tend to feel the most comfortable with our actions — since everyone can see them
We feel somewhat confident with our thoughts — since we can watch them, be aware of them, verbalise them, and verify their coherence. “I’m so logical”
Perhaps we’re least comfortable with our feelings
Feelings make us uncomfortable
DIRECTLY, and indirectly
E.g. SADNESS us uncomfortable directly
But also, FEAR can be uncomfortable indirectly. E.g. you don’t want to admit that you’re scared
We ourselves are poor at understanding our emotions
We are confused where they come from and why
We are confused about the logic behind them
We like to rationalise them, e.g. “I am angry because of this!”
But rationalisation is not rational, just appearance of rationality
If you want rationality — you need understanding
We are poor at understanding emotions
We are poor at dealing with emotions
Thus emotions make us feel uncomfortable
Now,
The thing about your PSYCHE, and being able to REVEAL IT,
is that unless you have that CAPACITY to REVEAL it — FEAR of being UNRAVELLED will utterly CRIPPLE you
This is the very meaning of VULNERABILITY, ABILITY to be VULNERABLE
If you can’t be vulnerable — you have to ARMOUR UP
And when you ARMOUR UP — you can’t move, can’t see
You only see the little that’s visible through your visor.
And you move slowly and awkwardly, the armour is cumbersome
And you’re drained because the armour is heavy
And you’re paranoid because you’re looking for blows from every direction
And then you die anyway
This is why you’d rather be vulnerable
And perhaps you’re wise enough to SPEAK SINCERELY and DIRECTLY
Perhaps you don’t beat around the bush, perhaps you don’t bullshit,
perhaps you SAY what you think
and perhaps you ASK for what you WANT
and perhaps you’re willing to stand for your opinions and views
This is all very admirable
And perhaps you are not afraid of BEING SEEN
Of taking public risks
Perhaps you have been desensitized to attention
Perhaps you have been desensitized to awkwardness
Perhaps you have been desensitized to failure
But do you know what you’re still afraid of?
Your emotions
Because you don’t control them
Because you don’t understand them
Because you can’t explain them rationally, or at all
And honestly, because they are both too personal…
….and too impersonal
Emotions are too personal — because they are so deeply within
And yet they are also too impersonal
For you DON’T DEFINE yourself in terms of your emotions. You’d rather define yourself in terms of something you control
And yet your emotions DEFINE YOU ANYWAY
And this is why, if you truly want to be free,
If you truly want to be free of burden
If you truly want to be liberated and be able to move again, FLY again,
You must become VULNERABLE EMOTIONALLY
NOT some bullshit “emotional story”, mind you
Not some cinematic bullshit
REAL emotions
There’s nothing complicated about it actually
The complicated part is actually getting real, actually NOT bullshitting yourself,
This is hard if you’ve been doing this your entire life
But it’s simple
There’s an EMOTION
And you ADMIT IT
That’s all there is to it
You want to admit it, first to yourself
Then to others, why not
And again: you don’t decide what is “vulnerable”, and what is “personal”,
Your only role is to ADMIT the EMOTION
Whether it’s easy or hard
Whether you think it defines you or not
Whether you think it’s personal or not
Whether you think it makes you look great or horrible
The only thing to, and the only RIGHT thing to do — is to admit it
Acknowledge it
Own it
If you can’t do that, you won’t be free from it
If you can’t do that, you can’t think, actually
Emotions are a form of cognition. Those are built-in heuristic designed for you to intuitively navigate through life
If you can’t work with them — they will work against you
They will distort your perception of reality
And you will be blind
You will be crazy, actually
And the more something relies on emotions, on instinct, on HUMANITY — the more you’ll fail it
Relationships
Genuine purpose
Happiness
If you’re emotionally disabled — those will be disabled
Be vulnerable instead
Be vulnerable emotionally
Be vulnerable — for you will be vulnerable anyway
You will be weak and you will be sad and then you will die
Might as well own it