What does your life comprises of?
Things, yes?
No not really.
Just our “concept” of life. “The narrative”.
But for must of us, the experience is hardly ever separated from the narrative. And from the self, in the centre of it all…
What does your life comprises of?
Where do the things come from?
Were they always there?
Were you born with your problems, your preferences, your qualities and your faults?
Where has all that substance came from?
Where is it coming from?
What are those “things”?
How do you recognise yourself?
What is this self-recognition?
Narrative recognition?
It’s a thought, yes?
Conscious and subconscious.
And the memory.
Conscious and subconscious.
Your ideas about yourself, your life, are thoughts, recorded thoughts, and recorded perceptions (thoughts, really).
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Your life is a fucking chaos.
You want to be this and that.
You always have something to do.
You “don’t have time”.
How do you control this chaos?
Can you bring order to this chaos?
Can you put it all in place?
Where has this chaos came from?
Was it there ever since you were born?
How do you even recognise this chaos?
It’s a thought, yes?
“I have to do this and that and then meet that person and scold this person and wake up early on Monday and get a raise on Friday…”
It’s a thought, yes? You are THINKING those chaotic thoughts.
Why are you thinking these thoughts?
Are you deciding every day that you have to HAVE THINGS TO DO…?
Do you even decide that you have to do something? Or do you just assume that you have to do something?
Do you ever consider whether you have to do anything at all, really?
You wake up every day and OUT OF HABIT you find ways to have little time, be busy, make more money and spend more money, get into more debt, get more drunk on Friday, get fit on Saturday, and so on and so on and so on, until you’re fucking DEAD.
Can you bring order to this chaos?
Could this chaos be controlled?
Perhaps now you do consider what you’re going to do with your day.
Only, did you consider whether you should be doing anything at all?
Whether you want to have all those things going on in your life?
Can you partially control this chaos?
Can you be more scheduled, more resolute?
You can put all the garbage in your room into a separate container, put a label on it, put it on the shelf — and it still won’t change the fact that it’s all garbage.
MORE SO! — you can get rid of all your garbage, you can throw it all away — but it STILL doesn’t change the fact that you bought it once, in the first place — and you probably are going to buy it all again.
It’s the same with your life.
You can organise, put in place, put a label on everything in your life. It’s still a fucking chaos.
AND THEN, you can let it all go — but unless there’s a DEEP PSYCHOLOGICAL TRANSFORMATION — you will find another way to be miserable, chaotic, overworked, stressed – you name it.
The way out of chaos is not through order.
The way out of chaos is to END chaos. Which is to stop creating chaos.
Stop trying.
I had seen too many people try.
Trying to organise their lives. Trying to solve their problems.
It doesn’t work like that.
Not until you address the UNDERLYING CAUSE.
The cause is — YOU, YOU YOURSELF, are responsible for your problems.
You keep creating them.
Then you try to solve them.
You are responsible for all this chaos and turmoil.
Stop even trying to solve these problems.
Let them solve themselves.
Just dive into this part of you which wallows in this misery, which identifies with all this struggling, achieving, fighting, winning, losing…
When you know, when you truly know, that you don’t need this nonsense… it is then that the change shall happen.