There is anger which is beyond the ordinary annoyance.

There is anger which goes far deeper then mere temporary frustration.

There is anger which is not merely temporary, which is not quickly-passing, which is not easily provoked nor easily dispelled.

There is anger which roots all the way down to the very SELF, where it has become profoundly INGRAINED, and this anger, this deep acute anger, it is now PART of that poor struggling self.

 

You want to be angry.

Not annoyed.

Angry.

You want to be angry like you want to be unlucky, unhappy, unsuccessful, dissatisfied.

It became part of what you call the SELF.

You don’t want these bad feelings but you desperately NEED that IDENTITY.

Media told you, system told you, that you can’t just be happy, be fulfilled, be complete. Therefore you’re unhappy, unfulfilled, incomplete. As long as you can’t simply BE happy, be fulfilled, you will strive for it, and to STRIVE is to NOT BE, to strive it to be STRIVING, and not BEING.

You also can’t be peaceful. You can’t be peaceful because you are angry.

 

You never thought what it meant to be angry.

Yes, there is the annoyance of your car breaking halfway home, your computer crushing or your date flaking on you. All that is petty.

This aforementioned deep anger, it is a collection of all the many small frustrations, and the many large frustrations, all rooting themselves as PART OF YOUR IDENTITY.

Your collection of LIFE-FRUSTRATIONS, all the failures and misfortunes, all that is an illusion, obviously, it is you thinking things were going to be a certain way, and them paving out differently. You never needed this frustration, like you needed not to cherish this poisonous ambition, that you are gonna be some Frankenstein creature that media spoon-fed you to be.

All these small, petty frustration, all those pretentious, man-made problems, and all this entirety of life not paving out your (whose?) way, and not feeling that wonderful but frustrating, all this you collected as PART OF YOUR OWN SELF. This same self which is a product of memory, which IS THE MEMORY, and this large part of this memory is this frustration, is this ANGER, and it is part of you, part of yourself, yourself which is memory, and ANGER persists in that memory.

This is the meaning of being angry. The continuation of frustration. The harbouring of the anger within. The continuation of the ANGER-BASED SELF.

 

You can’t uproot this deep anger without uprooting yourself.

You can’t uproot either of those malicious parts of your life without uprooting yourself.

You have to DIE of it.

DIE with it.

This is the real reason why you want to be angry. You simply want to be yourself, your self… and not die!!

But you have to die.

And you are going to die.

and to die is merely to forget,

but it does feel like death,

because it is death,

and death is merely the end of memory.