You getting what you want is NOT completely mysterious, but it is confusing
First
It has to be POSSIBLE, and preferably plausible
There are CRAZY goals that are likely impossible
-having everything, sacrificing nothing
-being remembered, immortal physically or historically
-having THAT PARTICULAR thing, that particular way
-etc
Then there are AMBITIOUS goals that nevertheless are just plainly statistically common
-wealth
-health (until it’s gone)
-simple joy
-love
-“glorious” lifestyle
Second
You actually have to MEAN IT
That is predominantly expressed in progressive SCALING of one’s DEDICATED RESOURCES:
-time
-energy
-attention
-money
-willpower
-etc
Scaling = the more you want it — the more you start throwing resources at it
The above can ‘malfunction’ at certain step/resource — which is the most common failure mode for those who ACTUALLY SCALE their EFFORT proportionally to their desire and urgency
So most people basically stop scaling = obviously they don’t get it. You can’t keep doing the same shit and expect a different outcome
Most people fail at that, even though just throwing more resources at the thing is already simple, crude even
But then the common malfunction is getting stuck at just overindexing on one resource
That’s not true scaling. It’s no longer scaling, as it’s no longer resulting in different outputs
To continue scaling, after you got stuck — you must start ROTATING THE RESOURCES. Adding more of some different resource
Or to put it simply:
You must DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT
Try a different method
Resource is not just time or money. That’s easy
It’s also attention. Willpower. Psychological concessions. Comfort. Etc.
And again — if you got stuck — likely you stopped scaling. You know you stopped scaling if there’s STILL something you could have TRIED
Finally, there’s self-SABOTAGE
=you ruin what you got
-or fuck it up right before the finish line
this happens, actually
…which usually just means you ‘don’t actually want it/mean it’
=need to spend a LOT of time getting to KNOW YOURSELF, and being BRUTALLY HONEST with yourself
…this, actually, again, is often facilitated by ‘really wanting it’ = in desperation you explore yourself, to figure out why you’re still failing
or rather, part of you that wants it will explore the parts of you that don’t want it, and a synthesised understanding may emerge
which again takes us to doctrine of SCALING ONE’S RESOURCES,
If you truly want it — you also SCALE your self-inquiry
You get to know that someone that is supposed to bring about all those things that you want. Even if that someone is you yourself
Second self-sabotage option is just the point 1 = it can actually be impossible
Impossible because you have fucking brain damage
Or maybe plain impossible. And you “getting close” is just mad luck. Except it’s no luck at all because it’s impossible to keep
But maybe it’s just brain-damage
The point being — after 10 attempts — it doesn’t matter WHY it failed
Even if YOU YOURSELF fucked it up in a fit of MADNESS — after the 100th time maybe it’s time to accept it’s just not meant for you
Maybe you’re mentally ill, or possessed by fucking demons
As ridiculous as it sounds — this is literally rational
You rationally concluded that, based on a meaningful sample size — it’s unlikely to work. You move on to some other venture
Maybe you can cure it
Maybe the conflict is between wanting something and wanting to be a loser
Maybe you can cure the latter, decide you no longer want to be a loser
Decide you don’t want to be allergic to success
It starts with small stuff like not procrastinating, not being late, not eating shit, not wasting life, not lying to yourself, not alienating people
Maybe it also has to start with getting over even more degenerate behaviour: drama, troublemaking, maybe gambling, drugs
Maybe you can do this,
Or maybe you’re just “mentally ill”
Good life is not for you, you like shit life
At least be realistic about it
Last but not least:
RANDOMNESS DRASTICALLY muddies the water
Meaningful improvement / deterioration is rarely random = correlates beautifully with preceding factors
but how CLOSE you get to your original target can VARY DRASTICALLY
A little bit extra luck can often mean not a little better outcome, but 10 times better outcome
E.g. path from a NON-bankrupt startup to MILLIONS is far closer than from bankrupt to non-bankrupt
Studying not at the 2nd best school but at the1st — can mean the difference between studying and then working with top talent, or just with ok professionals, for an acceptable, middling career
Being just slightly more talented and skilled at your work can mean the difference between being a commodity — and being a sought-after expert with top market power
This essentially covers most cases
Where someone is can be explained by those factors
And this is how you actually can tell if someone (or you) are going to DO well… including EXTREME success, sometimes
which again, is often quite feasible — once you LEARN TO PROGRESS RELIABLY