We’re not only joined by values and virtues, my friend VICES can also UNITE us Like attracts like, doesn’t it? That would be one mechanism But why would you be attracted to something ugly? Well, you wouldn’t be repelled if it wasn’t a net negative to you. We tend to be attracted by …
Tag: Relations
Opportunism vs Values: Relationships, Society
There’s the direct benefit we derive from a relationship — and indirect a bit like kinetic energy vs potential -direct benefit, kinetic energy, could be things you build together, boons you are able to provide for each other, etc. -indirect benefits, potential energy, are things you may build together, boons you may be able to …
Trick Yourself Into Respecting Others
You should trick yourself into respecting others, more than they deserve Indeed, most don’t deserve much respect, Almost innately — for by the virtue of individuality — most can’t possibly share your values You not liking them, not listening to them, not giving them the least of your attention, ultimately thus not giving them …
The Fallacy Of Intangible
There’s the well-defined, and there’s the intangible relationships fairness attitude intention effort will intuition confidence worth goodness authenticity attraction But what does INTANGIBLE mean? Does it mean those things don’t exist? Does it mean those things are effectively intractable, UNCONTROLLABLE? And therefore IRRELEVANT practically? See that’s the fallacy of intangible, if you …
Should You Reward Others Even If It Cost Them Nothing?
I often write that you should: -give and give more -make sure you give more in a relationship — so that you GUARANTEE that you keep it -…and thus continue, selfishly, benefiting from that relationship Here’s another puzzle: Should you reward others EVEN IF it cost them nothing? Answer is — obviously yes …
From Difference of Opinions to Blame Game to Strong Boundaries
Let’s say you like a STEAK — and she likes a SALAD You probably won’t have the same thing for dinner Now this is fine You just say: you get yourself your salad, and I’ll have my steak But let’s say you’re also very opinionated about superiority of steaks, over some shrubs You …
Fuzzy Logic of Treating Others Well; Treat Those You Keep Exceptionally
-You can treat others better or worse, obviously -And you can be intrinsically more valuable to them, or less Those two will decide what people will want to do with you You shouldn’t ever patch, or ameliorate, that which is already ruined. If you’re not meant for each other — admit it as fast …
Selfishness Compass
One could conceive of selfishness compass It would comprise of two axes Horizontal could measure the degree of self-absorption, self-interest Vertical could measure the degree of IGNORANCE At an extreme left there would be utter self-absorption, utter self-obsession, with utmost disregard for the interest of others, An utterly solipsistic perspective No inhibition in disregarding …
We Intuitively Judge Others By Different Standards
We think we treats others equally We think we judge others by the same standards We don’t And on more than one level First there’s discrimination We don’t even acknowledge that we discriminate That’s because we don’t even know any more what it means Discriminate is to recognise a distinction The distinction just …
Judge People By Their WORST
Someone’s BEST can be result of many random factors: –LUCK -rare FLASH of brilliance -temporary MOTIVATION -even strategic effort to impress, get a job, etc Someone’s worst is far less volatile: -it at very least speaks of someone’s MINIMUM STANDARD -it’s the BEST for predicting the future — as it gives a RELIABLE BASELINE …